Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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