Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
