How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
