And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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