remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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