My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize