i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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