dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
