But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
