I should be sponsored by Trojan
either way he was missing a nipple.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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