20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
