dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
