VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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