Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
