Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
