i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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