I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize