We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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