He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
