Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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