It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
this beer tastes like vomit already
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
