your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Please don't give away my fajitas
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
