We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
