I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We have so much sex to catch up on
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize