Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
this hospital has no fireball
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
