oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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