I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
