so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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