she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
