I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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