we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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