Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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