This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
