Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
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