Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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