Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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