So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
