we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
