It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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