I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
