we're chasing vodka with high fives
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
