Soap is not a condiment
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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