Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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