yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
