Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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