big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
