youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
