my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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