All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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