This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
