I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
