god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
