similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
