i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
