there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
