5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
