Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize